If you’re a restless person, this might be for you. Let’s start from a common place:
My name is Dale, and I can be a very irritable person. It’s nice to meet you.
I’ve recently turned 23, and it has some solid Pros and Cons, which I will combine for you:
- My age is an odd number. Very unfortunate that I have to put up with this for a year.
- I am still very young. My twenties are 30% done. There is a lot of time left to prepare for a mid-life crisis.
- Because I’m out of school, I am very much in “the real world.” Despite the fortune of a solid job, a loving wife (yes I know, “but you’re so young!” Cool, let’s move forward), and a host of other personal improvements, I feel like I am behind.
Let’s hang on that last note: I’m 23, and I feel like I’m behind. Reasonably, I am not behind. Saying that out loud doesn’t shake the sense of urgency that drives me to do more.
The urgency to do more is tiring. It’s the energy that keeps me awake, productive, and worried. It does help me to finish tasks and put my fastest foot forward. Urgency does not make me a happier person on most days. I am lucky to have sources of happiness outside myself that compensate for my shortcomings.
It’s probably normal to fix your thoughts on the future. It’s what kept nomads minutes away from food and safety. But as I write this in an air-conditioned apartment in Austin, TX, I can’t help but wonder why I’m so irritable. After all, my fridge and bed are steps away.
Let me be fair to myself–and you to yourself, if you relate: good people often worry themselves to a breaking point. When you’re concerned about a deadline (or worse: being good enough), you will probably get irritated. Here’s one truth I’m still learning to accept:
Your definition of “good enough” will always default to “good enough and more.” Personal growth comes when you recognize the difference and give yourself the slack via adjusted expectations. Here’s another truth to ponder on:
People get angry when their expectations are not met. If you expect nothing, then getting nothing will feel normal. I remind myself of this when navigating a disagreement and when I am irritated.
Being irritable has its bonuses, unfortunately. When self-contained, it can mean that you piss yourself off much of the time, but “Hey! Look, the work gets done.” And so afterward, others may see you as a success, but you will feel behind, or you will feel like a failure. You will be irritable. There are ways out of this self-digging hole.
I’m not just here to stir the pot and alert you to your inner frustrations. I can give you some advice that has helped me, and hopefully it may help you:
- Most people don’t know what they’re doing. It’s okay to be one of those people.
- The good people in life want you to succeed. Join that crowd for yourself.
- When you fail, consider it a free learning experience.
- The love you share with others will always make you happier than finishing a task.
As you sit on that heavy dose of Help, I hope that you’ll consider what being Present means. Be future-focused, but be ready and willing to pause that concern when the Present moment is good. It’s just like savoring food. On a hot Texas day, you might be craving a popsicle, but the real joy comes in having that popsicle in front of you. Bonus if you have good air-conditioning.
The Present can be good. You will continue to be the good You that you are. We want you to be your best self, and I hope you wish that for yourself, too. So if you lie awake in bed tonight thinking about what needs to get done tomorrow, take a nice, slow breath. We’ll get there. But it’s time that you rest a bit. You’ve already earned it.
Take it easy,
🙂